Wednesday 3 February 2010

Talking turkey

My one union meeting turned into two, and work fades into the distance. My new computer isn't here yet (boo).

Meanwhile, Empire  readers have listed what they think are the worst films of all time:


1. Batman and Robin
2. Battlefield Earth
3. The Love Guru
4. Raise The Titanic
5. Epic Movie
6. Heaven's Gate
7. Sex Lives Of The Potato Men
8. The Happening
9. Highlander II: The Quickening
10. The Room
What do you think? I only seen Raise The Titanic and Highlander II and can't really argue with those choices, but there are others I'd think are contenders. How about Drop Dead Fred? The Smokey films? Holiday on the Buses? Any thoughts?

15 comments:

Ewarwoowar said...

They've missed out:

Matrix 3, Sin City, The Wicker Man, Any modern Star Wars film, Catwoman, Seven Pounds, Eyes Wide Shut and plenty more that I can't think of just at the moment.

The Plashing Vole said...

As long as you mean the Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man and not the brilliant original.

Ewarwoowar said...

Original. In terms of complete and utter implausibility, it's unparalleled.

I'd rather bite my eyeballs than watch the remake. All remakes are shit anyway. Thomas Crown Affair remake, there's another one.

Get Carter remake! Ouch.

The Plashing Vole said...

You are certifiably insane. For a start, why is plausibility are requirement? Don't you like any science fiction?

Wicker Man is about myth, about the edges of 'civilisation'. Woodward's Scottish Presbyterianism v. the Celtic twilight. Plus the photography, the psychological horror as opposed to gore - it's a classic.

And while we're on the subject, if you think that a just war can be judged by possession of testicles (as you said on another thread), then you've lost the argument!

Ewarwoowar said...

My intention was not, and is not, to hijack this blog post. So we've heard each other, and we'll just agree that I'm right.

Gigli
O
Snakes On A Plane
Le Mans
Titanic

All woeful. I havent seen it, but I'm prepared to bet Avatar is a load of guff as well.

Dan said...

Pretty much every Hitchcock film. The Twilight ones (and the ones to come).

An Australian film called Undead in which the aliens are coming but then they just go back, meanwhile some bloke with a beard pulls guns out of cereal boxes.

I Spit On Your Grave surely has a shout?

Ewarwoowar said...

I'm better at wind-ups than you Daniel. Good effort with that Hitchcock one, need to try harder though.

I Spit On Your Grave was watchable though. Sin City bloody wasn't.

And if I'm going to "out wind-up" you, Slumdog Millionaire. Overrated.

The Plashing Vole said...

Haven't seen any of those, but their reputations precede them. The Rocketeer?

Dan said...

Slumdog Millionaire is rubbish, yes. Well done.

Sin City is a good film. If only for it's style and stellar cast. Admittedly, Elijah Wood is a bit unbelievable in any film but I don't think he makes Sin City a bad film just on that.

Hitchcock overrated. Not a wind up. I prefer films like Lifeboat to Rear Window. I mean, I liked Rear Window for nearly the whole length of it's running time until THAT ending. Also, being a film student, I dislike all this 'auteur' crap. He wasn't an auteur for two reasons, one his wife picked most of the ideas and partly wrote scripts which mainly came from (and here's point 2) novels. In my opinion if you can be an auteur for making, let's say, three good films based on adapted ideas then you can become an auteur by making one purely original film. But anyway, we're getting into theory here...

For a good Hitchcockian film, don't watch Hitchcock watch a Korean film called The Housemaid. It's available to watch legally on a site called theauteurs.com.

Dan said...

A proper link to that for anyone that cares.

http://www.theauteurs.com/films/2039

Right, back to Journalism work...

Kate said...

I'm going to have to agree with Voley here, the Wicker Man is brilliant, very deservedly a cult classic.

Dan, I agree that Hitchcock is overrated (you can add mysogynistic to your list of criticisms - see 'The Women Who Knew Too Much' by Modleski)but to put him in the list of worst films is a bit harsh.

The only other films I've seen out of all the ones listed are Titanic (agree wholeheartedly) and Eyes Wide Shut (wouldn't say worst ever but agree is far from great).

Dirty Dancing has to be the worst movie of all time ever, watching it as a teenager scarred me for years. Love Actually? I had to turn it off halfway through for fear of choking on my own vomit. In fact, I think the whole romcom genre (excluding period dramas by literary greats of course) can be filed under the heading 'worst movie'.

Judge Dredd? A boyfriend made me sit though it with his mates after the pub and then slept most of the way through it, I was furious. Fortunately I have since discovered the existence men who wouldn't dream if watching such dross.

And last but by no means least (especially for Emma), Solaris (Clooney remake - thus supporting your above arguments). One of the lines halfway through the film is 'am I dead?' and one of us turned to the other and said 'am I dead?' in response to the direness of the film, we argue to this day about which one of us it was!

The Plashing Vole said...

Judge Dredd was bad, and made worse because it was based on good ideas and comics.

Is it Love Actually which starts with the Twin Towers coming down? If so, it's the film which made me more angry than I have ever been about anything. How dare they use the murder of 3000 people as a quick bit of mood-setting in a cynically exploitative commercial romantic comedy (which seems to mostly be about the need to fly a lot)? It's without question the most tasteless, disproportionate and insensitive piece of film-making I've ever seen.

Oh dear, urge to kill… rising.

Kate said...

I don't honestly know (though it sounds likely). The brain has a powerful and convenient way of blocking really traumatic things from one's memory.

I'm glad it's not just me (and Matt) that find such things induce violent rage.

Matt was told by a former girlfriend that 'all girls love Dirty Dancing, you just don't understand', and then he met me! ;-)

Ewarwoowar said...

Blooming heck! Finally a girl who doesn't like Dirty Dancing?! I might save that comment just for future reference.

And Love Actually is ruddy superb, you silly Vole.

Kate said...

I aim to please Ewar! ;-)

It is utterly vile and atrocious for many reasons there isn't time in the universe to recount (well not time for PhD writing up people like me anyway).

If we ever meet and you have female friends who need disavowing of the notion that it is a superb film, rest assured I will be more than happy to oblige!

Especially if they claim to be feminists (I am one but contrary to popular opinion I don't hate men, men are great! - EQUALITY - is the only issue here).

'Nobody puts Baby in the corner'? Yes, because we need a man to stand up for us because we are too weak and demure to do so for ourselves. Grrr! There's one of many reasons you can quote.

Right, the PhD beckons!