Friday 31 December 2010

Vole's new year resolutions

An anonymous commenter seeks enlightenment on this topic.

1. Continue with my fitness routine. The last 3 months have seen a slowdown.
2. Expose Paul Uppal to all the justified and righteous scorn and contempt he deserves. A more nakedly self-interested individual I have rarely encountered.
3. Ben wants me to blog less in general, and less about politics. I'll think about it.
4. Actually get some research done rather than take on more and more of the drudgery.
5. Get a permanent job. This may be rather easier said than done. Preferences at the moment are the University of the Faroe Islands and the University of Prince Edward Island (where there's a 10 month lectureship in English going right now).
6. Be nicer, kinder and fluffier.
6. Visit destruction on my enemies.
7. Foment revolution or at least get more involved in active politics.
8. Read more books than I buy. Last year I bought 345 books and read significantly fewer.
9. See more of my distant friends. I have been lax.
10. See less of others, and the inside of my office.
11. Carry an owl perched on my shoulder, trained to peck out the eyes of plagiarists and other assorted gits.
12. Find clothes that make me look less like an man who's robbed a tramp several sizes smaller.
13. Move somewhere with proper heating and double-glazing so that heat doesn't swap places with the drunken brawling of the locals. "Yasmine you slag, you should have had an abortion" is amusing for a while, but I'm trying to sleep, you bastards.
14. I will resolve anaphora. This is the toughest of the lot.

I think I'll stop there. I've got marking to do. Happy new year.

1 comment:

neal said...

Some of these are pretty ambitious, it's going to be tricky to recreate last year's success. No.8 is never going to happen, but I do know where there's an owl that you could liberate.

Keep going with Uppal, every Tory MP should have a Plashing Vole hassling them.