Friday 23 March 2012

Minor annoyances that really get to me

Ben Cynical really knows me very well: he's found a blog by someone who could be a soulmate. It's Meaningless T-Shirts, and it's a delight. The author collects photos of clothing with pointless or non-existent references, and subjects them to sarcastic analysis.

I would like to shower him or her with kisses and riches. I've never understood why one would want the label on the outside of one's clothes. I remove labels from my clothes and certainly wouldn't buy any advertising made-up things like the 'San Francisco Track Dept 1969' one I saw a couple of days ago. Suspiciously similar to this one:


If you were an adult in the nonexistent athletics department in 1976, you'd be 54 at a minimum. Nobody will remember your 4th place in the San Francisco speed-walking semi-finals. Give it up.

I mean seriously, what is the point? Does it persuade people that you spend your time in American thrift stores hunting for 'vintage' clothes? Or that you're an athlete or American? Or just kooky. While we're on the subject: baseball caps. If you're playing baseball - fine. If not, don't. And especially don't wear baseball caps relating to actual baseball teams if you don't actually support them. Or even like baseball.

This is why I'm not a postmodernist. I'm just to unhip. These logos and symbols are signifiers, in structuralist terms. They're postmodern because they don't have 'real' signifieds, things to which they refer. They appear to have some relationship to actual places/things/events but it's made up. A proper postmodernist would think this amusing, if a little played out - the baseball cap doesn't really say 'baseball fan' any more: it says that you're into American culture, perhaps hiphop culture in particular. But not me. I just think that if you wear these things, you're a dick. And if you pay extra to have a clothing manufacturer's name on the outside, in big letters, you're a stupid, shallow dick and you've paid to become a brand advert.

This has been a public service message from reality. Do call in.

2 comments:

Some Chilean Woman said...

I'm so with you and your soul mate on this subject. I can't stand branding on clothing, the whole 'hey! I shop here!' thing is silly to me. I detest the smell that comes out of Hollister, I hope you never get one of those over there. And don't even get me started on True Religion!

Ewarwoowar said...

Vole, I appreciate the attempt at wumming me but you've failed here, because there's nothing I dislike more than someone wearing a Yankees cap when they've never watched a baseball game in their life and couldn't name a single Yankee player. Ick.

SCW - I'm afraid Hollister is very much a thing over here as well. None of their stores seem to have bothered spending their profits on the leccy bills.